An open letter to a friend who needs support and won’t ask for it

Hey chick – how’s it going? Just stopping by to say howdy 🙂

Well, I know things aren’t going too well right now for you, and I want you to know I love you.

The thing is, when you told me a year ago that you were struggling with mental illness, I was sympathetic (or is it empathetic?) and I said all the right things – and I really did mean them – ‘I’m here for you, I love you, you can talk to me ay time, anything I can do, just let me know’ etc.

Since then, I’ve found out just what dealing with this really means for you, and I’m sad to realise just how much this affects you, it surprised me – as I was it seems, ill-informed about what these sort of issues can mean for someone and as such, I’m ashamed to admit that I had underestimated the seriousness of what you are going through.

You are a wonderful person my dear, someone who really makes others smile and I know just how much you mean to our silly uni group, there’s always a gap on those few occasions when you can’t make our social gatherings 🙂 Even when we get you on the phone for a group chat it’s still just not the same!

So now what? I’ve heard last night that you are dealing with a particularly upsetting situation about a friend at the moment, one which, if I’m honest, has me concerned. A friend’s son was dealing with the same type of situation a couple of years ago, and well, he made a decision and now he isn’t here any more.

If I’m brutally honest, I’m concerned at how common this reaction is in the UK to what you are going through at this moment in time dealing with the upsetting situation and the mental health issues I know you are working on. 

You are a very private person, and I know you don’t like to talk about these sort of things to people. I can understand that, but I tell you what, it frightens the life out of me. Not knowing whether you are struggling or if you’re ok – none of our group was aware of how difficult a time you have been experiencing recently, and of course this made us all feel really guilty that we hadn’t noticed that you perhaps needed our help more than we were giving.

Unfortunately, from what I’ve read – this is quite common, people often have no idea of how much people they love are struggling – for whatever reason that person doesn’t want to tell people they love that they might need their support.

So here I am, not sure what I can say to help you, but here nonetheless, wanting to help in any small way that I can – even if it’s just a silly text saying hi with a smiley face.

If you want to talk, I’m here (might not know what to say to help, but I will always listen with an open and supportive mind and heart) and if you want distraction and silliness, well, you know me well enough to know I’m more than capable of a little silliness 😛

I love you. I really, really need you to know that. I am speaking for the rest of our group as well when I say this, because I know it’s true, and because I know that they want to help as much as I do (even if we are a bit rubbish at showing it sometimes)

Hopefully this situation at the moment is something you can come to us, or anyone else who loves you and you can get the support I know you will be needing – even if you don’t say it. 

Because the situation you are going through right now, we really don’t want to be in that situation ourselves about you. 

What I’ve said here, I kind of hope you don’t read, because I don’t know how you would take it and if it would help you or upset you. If you do read it – please take from this one thing above all else. Me and the others LOVE YOU. So very much.

So hopefully we will all meet up soon and hang out and chat shit about the old days, play stupid games on the wii, go out for drinks and get into weird discussions very late at night. I hope you have a good time with us.

See you soon dollface 😛 x


3 thoughts on “An open letter to a friend who needs support and won’t ask for it

  1. What a lovely note to your friend. As someone that has very few friends and has been dealing with depression for a long time. I wish I had a friend that would reach out to me like this. Even if you don’t send this note to your friend, you should reach out to her. She needs the friends and to know you are there.

    1. Thanks for this comment – I spoke to her on the phone last night – I didn’t ‘reach out’ per se, but I had a great chat with her, lots of giggles and silly chat, was a nice hour and a half long catch up. Still a little worried for her as I know she is great at enjoying herself for a short while and hiding her low times from people, but still it was really nice to hear her laugh 🙂

      I hope that you are doing ok as well (never really know what’s best to say, sorry!)

      Thanks 🙂 x

      1. Happy to hear you had a good chat with her. Just keep checking in. The silly text or joke sent her way. Anything to make her smile at weird random times. Laughter is good for everyone.
        Puts a smile on my face that your friend has you in her corner!

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